Beginning at the End

I made this painting just the other night. So, the beginning of this writing feels like I’m starting at the end. The end of the evening, the end of one chapter, the end of seeing the world in a particular way… I don’t know- sounds like closure and new beginnings to me.

I titled this piece: Dragon- Waiting for the Storm. It could equally be a poodle prancing about beneath the stormy sky. I love this painting- the textures, the movement, the playfulness of it. I love that I started making this painting with the idea of play and being experimental with slightly different media. I love too, that I knew when it was done, and I could put away my paintbrushes and sleep easy.

This is the last painting I did (except for the still- wet pour I made today). It is one of many in these last months that feel cohesive, as though they come from a stronger core; a stronger sense of self.

I realize that this may not come through my work for other people. It is a comparative judgment that I can apply in retrospect. I know how my art and writing has manifest over many decades. I know that the felt sense of making that art has evolved., perhaps it’s best to say changed, as evolved connotes a slow transformational process. And though, the shift in my integrative process has been painfully slow, my understanding of it, and how I perceive who I am now has come in these past months as bursts of awareness that have appeared in my work in a multitude of ways.

So this poodle/ dragon speaks to me in a single, understandable language, instead of the many tongues and voices of my past. It speaks of joy in the midst of stormy weather. This dragon tells about the layers and textures of life- many minds working together to create. This is a departure from the disparate parts all vying to be heard and ripping through my brain to be at the front.

Cohesion doesn’t have to be smooth, or even pretty. Solid, clear, full of life in the artist’s perception of the world.

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