Satisfaction with the Appearance of Frustratingly Annoying and Bothersome Feelings

Frustration- Behind the Barbed Wire

 

This is Take 2 of my previous post. I realized it did not articulate what I was actually intending to say. I thought about deleting the previous post, and decided instead, to leave it, and a Part II that is more in line with what I had meant to say.

The piece you see is a process piece. That is, the process was equally, or more, important than the image that you see. I was encouraged by my therapist, to allow myself time to dig deeper into the feelings that I was bookmarking for ‘another time’.

I have been feeling frustrated with my interaction with some of the people around me. I don’t want to become toxic and impose negative feelings on others, so I felt the need to externalize the feelings. It doesn’t make them go away, but it lessens the hold they have on me, so that I can deal with those situations in a healthier way. In going through this process, I become more clear on what I must say and do, and what is petty and I can just let go. I have the capacity to transform the felt sense of anger and frustration into an art piece. Whether it is aesthetically pleasing is up to the individual observer. I rather like it: the textures, colours and movement. I like the metaphors that it holds- the ‘one’ who is different (other), the fences and wire, the greenery that survives even as the caretakers of the world leave the plantings to look after themselves.

And the process. Whenever I make a collage or mixed media, I get an emotional satisfaction from tearing the bits of paper. In some cases, I am very exact, and tear along lines, and other times, I rip big sheets of paper with an aggressiveness that just feels good. Thick layers of paint and gel medium to build in the texture I desire, and the tangible idea of grasping and grappling with the subject matter. Layers of acrylic sprays and glue to finish it, and give it the 3D effects that speak so clearly to me.

This is what I wanted to say: art heals. Art is real, and holds the power to unstick our demons, and give us clarity. Art making can provide a visceral and organic way to understand the wounds we carry in our bodies, and to heal them with our own two hands.

Less frustrated, more clear, I move on through my day.

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