Waiting for My Girls
I wrote this piece a while ago. Yesterday was the girls fourth birthday. As we reminisced and the memories of the day they were born floated around the birthday cakes, I decided that today was the day to publish this piece.
I can vividly remember,
It was much easier for me than it was for my daughter and her husband. The tension of fear, expectation, and excitement hung in the small home. Three- year old Eva, oblivious to the momentousness of the occasion, sat with me, waiting…
Eva was a little fuzzy on the details of what was happening, but was pleased to be sitting with grandma and all her art materials.
We had the paint and papers out, and Eva has always loved watching and helping as I use my unique techniques of tearing my papers with care and attention, adding layers of paint and materials.
When Eva was little, and I didn’t have to consider what her sisters might do with a free reign on paint, I could let her experiment with small amounts of different paints and other materials. It was a very special time that has culminated in a very special bond with my oldest granddaughter.
(Now, it’s a little harder to keep our area safe and tidy with three very busy, creative little girls.)
Looking back on pieces of art I have made reminds me of the feelings that poured onto my canvas or page at the time that I was working on them. Some of the pieces are process pieces- ones that took multiple sessions of painting, tearing, gluing and painting again. They had no outcome or even style and technique in mind. They are the product of trusting the process, listening to my body, and knowing when to stop. Theses pieces will normally have layers and textures that grab me, and hopefully other viewers, and make a statement of emotion.
This particular painting that you can see above, holds the elements of the tension I mentioned. There are the edges of the darkness of fear, and not knowing, as well as a sense of light and welcoming warmth, all encapsulated on a small canvas board.
I remember tearing so carefully around the flowery papers, and the mimicking of their shapes that turned up in the paint. The feeling of using a palette knife to apply paint and then shape it and scrape it away, jumps out at me when I look at this painting. I also remember the focus that took me out of the worry and into being present with my work and sweet Eva.
And in case you want to know, twin girls were born on April 11, 2017- well worth the wait!